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Writer's pictureLesley Turner

Maybe the stress you're carrying was never yours to pick up in the first place.

How many times have we taken on someone else's problem (our parent's, our kid's, our bestie's, our client's) only to find that it stressed us out the same (or more) than the original person. We worried more. Had more sleepless nights. Couldn't shake it. But it was never ours to carry in the first place.


This doesn't mean we aren't supposed to help people. We absolutely are. Service to humanity is the highest calling. However, by carrying the weight of someone else's stuff, we rob them of coming up with their own solutions. It's actually pretty self-centred to think that our worry is going to solve their problems.


Ultimately, this is a control issue. We feel out of control, so worrying brings more of the problem onto our shoulders to give us a false sense of control over it all.


Notice this with how much we take on from world events as well. The IG story that we shared about a war in another country is it really helping the people there (full stop), or is it spreading fear, hate, despair, and appeasing the part of us that feels helpless?


Focusing on healing our own shadows will have a ripple effect around the world. Don't avoid your own healing by ONLY focusing on other people's struggles.

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